Very glad to report that I have received the final edits for my romance novel!
(I remain as vain as ever, and in the above featured image, I wearing my favorite hat, Golden Coach by Dobbs, a hat from a very special friend)
so I will be attending to that book –of my life! –this weekend, devoting Sunday, 26 June 2016 as Romance Day. romance with life romance with writing (I’ve had this affliction since I was six years old
Seems that there will be fireworks for Independence Day! –direct from my laptop; my editor, very fine editor I hope receives an award for the outstanding work he’s already done helping to bring this novel to its current state.
2016, This is my year! –this is the year of acceptance of my book:
“Looking for Forker Gyrl” IN NKH: New Kiss Horizon by Adorabilis Flapjack Tardis (Thylias Moss)
Won’t be much longer; I can feel it, I can taste it, that’s how palpable and real this already is!
Being patient; enjoying what is already in place. I wrote a book that I really believe in.
Now all I must do it wait; this is not easy, because this book means so much to me…
Every since I’ve been a writer, since I was six years old, I’ve wanted to write such a book, and now I have….
Seems I should be able to enjoy it (will be my 12th book), but I am just so anxious –though logic (and my son) both encourage me to be calm, and able to enjoy completing this book of my life!
I have walked many miles trying to distract myself, from the inevitable –I believe!– acceptance of this wonderful book for representation.
I dream of this, will this with every waking moment, and, you better believe, that when I try to sleep, I dream of acceptance also, and the sale of the book itself!
All the interviews, the movies; this is coming. I know it. There have been only about 10 readers, and all of them have loved it! –and “have loved it!” is putting it mildly.
A published writer since 1983! Numerous awards! Of course, I’m grateful that my problem at the moment is only whether or not the prospective agent will want to represent it, –such luxury in a problem, let alone that I’m still alive after a traumatic brain injury…
Please pardon me if I celebrate prematurely, but that’s how confident I am. I know a good book when I read one, and this book is it.
I know I’ve been saying this for a little while, and I’m eager to post that I have agency representation, and now that it’s 2016, surely it wont be much longer! –before I’m 62 at the end of February…
I have to be confident.
I believe in this book! –the few of you who have read it, may comment if you like, but even if you don’t, I still believe in this book, this writing of everything I know how to hope…
still in the dark in some of my home, but not in the dark about the imminent success of my book!
and now some recent postings of some old music I made with my son:
I couldn’t be more excited about this book, and certainly about this poem!
Update to this post: A small declaration of even newer life:
What I said day before yesterday: I am steadily working on building a new life for myself. Despite what hurts, what helps, and what sometimes does both. I was stupid to stay so long in a relationship I knew wasn’t right practically from the beginning! He was cheating on the teenager me right from the beginning –I found out two weeks after the wedding, and yet I stayed –for forty years, Just glad to be out of that marriage… And now… My own poetry is suffering, my new and selected volume due out in the fall of 2016 will contain a poem written while I was married and my “signature” poem about myopia seems to be about him, and I can’t allow my new book, first book since 2006, to appear to center on him… I have submitted a revision, and at least it was true at the time of the revision. I can live with more recent –temporary– truth, than I’m willing to live with old truth no longer true at all, and not in my poetry where truest forms of me reside… I remain hopeful that newer temporary truths will prevail so my 2016 NEW & selected (emphasis on NEW) will steer me towards newer forms of life that I become able to find….
THE UPDATE: I have learned that my poetry editor agrees with me concerning the revision; a version of the revision WILL BE! in my new collection, my editor said the re-vision is “a ‘very’ impressive poem. Amazing work, you!” –I could feel it as I wrote it! Embedded in the words and my need for those words to be heard! –and they were! That tremendous music! I really had the sense of surviving all of what I’ve been through! Poetry indeed has such power! Poetry is saving my life! The truest forms of me can learn how to breathe again through that poem! My editor read them and felt it too! A surging of current! A form of merger between multiple ways of trying to understand, trying to see “myopia!”
7:05pm
As I attempt to live my new life without baggage, I specifically mean without the lies. I WANT TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH! I AM NOT LIVING BACKWARDS ANY FURTHER. Sorry if this direction disconnects you from me. Absolutely necessary. My name has been “Moss” for 42 years! –all of my books have been published by “Thylias Moss” –yes; at the divorce, I was offered the chance of resuming my maiden name, but as all of my professional life was as “Thylias Moss” I kept the name! I like MY NAME NO MATTER HOW I GOT IT. –AND I WANT NO DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MY KEEPING THE NAME! –the name is mine! –whether or not I remain married… My post! –make a post of your own if you want one; say whatever you like on your page, just as I will say whatever I like on my page… Every official document I have says: “Thylias Moss” is who I am, because that’s true! –THYLIAS MOSS IS WHO I AM! –if MY name is baggage, this is the only luggage I will continue to carry. Be careful how you respond. MY LIFE, MY PAGE, MY “BAGGAGE” with a luggage tag for “THYLIAS MOSS” because that’s who I am! Period.
Some TRUTH I try to live by:
My words to live by (with thanks to Linda Hedrick whose post led me to them). I am not going to allow either my MS or my traumatic brain injury to rule my life. Period!
Billy Connolly is refusing to let Parkinson’s disease bring him down.
The 72-year-old comedian was diagnosed with the brain condition in 2012 – in the same week he was told he had prostate cancer and had two hearing aids fitted – and although it has prevented him from playing the banjo he doesn’t dwell on the degenerative impacts.
He said: “I am doing as well as can be expected. Some people get grim, but I do not.
“Funny doesn’t go away it just changes slightly, maybe some people get grim but I don’t. I think it is an attitude – you say screw it, let’s get on with it.
“You cannot sit at home wondering about your symptoms. It is not going to go away.
“It has never crossed my mind that I am gonna die. What is dying anyway? It is just a light going out?”
‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ actor admitted the disease is a constant reminder of his late friend Robin Williams who had the same condition before committing suicide.
During a radio interview promoting his Canadian tour, he explained: “It depressed me terribly. You don’t find a way out of it. You find a place to put it where you can access when you want it. Like your mother or father’s death you never get over it, you just find a place to put it.
“We were both angry about things.
“For instance the guy who gave me the final diagnosis that I had Parkinson’s said it was incurable. Now I think that is terrible; he should have said we have yet to find a cure … Leave me a little light on in the corner for Christ’s sake.”
From: http://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/entertainment/billy-connolly-on-his-parkinsons-diagnosis-funny-doesnt-go-away-it-just-changes-slightly-694531.html
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No matter what, it is the truth I want, the truth I need, and that means no longer pretending that the niece of my ex is my daughter, or that he child is my grandchild or her grandchild, my great grandchild. THIS IS THE TRUTH! Her biological mother is alive, a sister of my ex! –her child has a living grandmother, a biological grandmother! And her grandchild has a living, biological great grandmother, and it isn’t me! –THAT IS THE TRUTH!
I learned yesterday that my ex had led his sister to believe that he was the biological father of my only biological son, but NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! –MY EX IS INFERTILE! –he did not father my child, he COULD NOT FATHER MY CHILD OR ANY CHILD! –he also led his sister to believe that I had more pregnancies (that he fathered) after my son, pregnancies that ended in miscarriage, and this is A BALD-FACED LIE, when all I want it the TRUTH! –I’ve had only two pregnancies in my life, the first when I was fifteen and raped, becoming pregnant as a result of that rape… I did not have that baby; I was in high school… my only other pregnancy occurred when I was 36 and so ready for a baby! I revisited fertility centers I had visited with my ex in Cambridge , Massachusetts where we lived, and the outcome was always the same, and of course, the woman was always blamed for the childlessness… We even tried in-vitro fertilization three times, my eggs and my ex’s sperm in a Petri dish, and nothing happened… When asked if we would consider a sperm donor –as was recommended, I agreed, but my ex said: “ABSOLUTELY NOT” Nothing I could do right then, but I was not about to give up my only opportunity to be pregnant because of that selfishness and inability to accept his infertility, a protection of an outdated sense of manhood.
So I returned to a fertility center, and requested a donor, and I became pregnant right away, and I was told by one of the fertility clinic’s doctors, “What a difference a good sample makes!” I WAS NEVER THE CAUSE OF THE INFERTILITY… SEEMS SOMETHING MY EX JUST WILL NOT ACCEPT AS TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF.
Have been in a blazing fury of writing –as if my life depends on writing, and it does. Writing, and writing about everything I can, and most difficult for me is writing about my aneurysms, cranial aneurysms, one of which ruptured and nearly killed me on the night that Amy Winehouse died. The night of my death also; yes –it seems that I’ve returned, but what is here is a resurrected form –I shouldn’t even be able to talk, let alone write, but here it is; I don’t really care if it’s good or bad –so, so nice to feel this unusual motivation, the laptop doing the best it can, this silicone typing skin covering the keyboard, so that the depressing of every key seems to have an echo, as if, almost, as if, I’m doubling the words…
Tonight I completed a first draft of what might become a chapbook –an idea for writing I couldn’t stop! —I didn’t want to write it, but I indeed was compelled –almost as if I would never, never write again —I was sitting on the couch reading, reading, don’t know what I was reading, when light poured into the room, seemed to set the room ablaze, as if the sky had cracked open, and this light, (light I didn’t see on the night I died); went into the hospital, the ER, on that July night, expecting to come home that very night, but came home in October, and began my new life. Light, stunning and unexpected radiance filled my lap!
—Every crack of the room was ablaze! –what celebration! –I was not alone! –as if , as if, the light itself was writing! –indeed my laptop blazed! –I have since doused this fire! –Amazing what can still be accomplished with MS and two cranial aneurysms! –just one rupture however! –I’m supposed to be dead, but I’m not! –I defied the odds
It was as if the sky itself had an aneurysm rupture! –no other way could I explain such extraordinary illumination! –yes; there was the title of a poem right there, a poem of my new life! –an “Aneurysm of the Firmament”!How I look now:I have two aneurysms, one in my forehead, the one that ruptured, and killed the form of me that was the only “me” there was until that night, and now this changeling form is the only one that there will ever be…. Time bomb in my head, above my right ear… Could rupture anytime; hope it doesn’t of course…. (at least) Not before these books are published: 1.”Wannabe Hoochie Mama” –my big New and selected collection of poetry, due in the fall of 2016 from Persea.2. MAYBE! also a collection of prose poams: “LFMK: Looking for my Killer (a PSA, of sorts) –manuscript has been submitted to a potential publisher, just waiting for an answer… Not bad for someone who wasn’t supposed to ever talk again, let alone write!3. Chapbook! “Aneurysm of the Firmament” –newly completed… I’m so very hopeful! –haven’t had a new book since 2006 and Tokyo Butter, from Persea…
Thylias Moss Writing 